if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
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Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
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You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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