I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
A bitchslap is in order.
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