Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
