he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
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Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
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Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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