Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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