D3 body, D1 cock
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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