it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
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I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
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Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm getting married
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.