just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.