i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So many bounce houses so little time
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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