what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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