Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
