hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
