I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
