We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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