have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
