That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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