I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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