drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
