Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize