Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
