he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
