I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
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He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
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Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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