Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
