How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
