sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize