he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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