she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
