I heard we made out
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
