She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
