apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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