I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize