Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
