im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
