I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
