I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
