I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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