Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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