Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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