I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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