the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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