I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
accomplished twins. life is a go
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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