I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
