i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
