We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize