what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
