I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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