bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just threw up on my dentist
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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