can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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