Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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