I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
