i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
