just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
