Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
