you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
