Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
