After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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