Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
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Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
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So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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