I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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