new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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