I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize