I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
