Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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